Children’s Books That Make Me Cringe

{31 Days of Reading Well: Day 20}

I’m feeling a little bit snarky tonight, so I am going to tell you about some children’s books I don’t love. There are so many wonderful books for kids … but some of them are just off! Even books I loved as a child I now wonder what on earth my parents were thinking when they purchased these gems.

The Piggy in the Puddle was a favorite of mine – a Weekly Reader copy. (Anyone else remember Weekly Reader?) I seriously loved this book enough that I hung onto my copy (or, well, my parents did) until I had my own child to read it to. We read it about three times, enough for me to get upset that that stinking piggy in the bonnet is rude to her parents, disobedient, and uses words I don’t want my kids to use! It went to Goodwill. Sorry, pig.

I know this might be slightly controversial, but I kind of hate the book God Gave Us You. I have absolutely zero problems with the text of the book, really. My issue is the animals. THEY ARE POLAR BEARS THAT GO GET ULTRASOUNDS AT THE HOSPITAL. But they also hang out in the woods with fish and stuff. I am OK with animals that act like humans. Or animals that act like animals. But these hybrid polar bears freak me out. Sorry.

I’m really sorry if I’m breaking anyone’s heart, but I go to great lengths to AVOID reading The Little Engine That Could. It is a boring book with a whole lot of words, and it is deceptively long. Yes, it has a great moral lesson or whatever. But we can learn that “we can” from a better book. (Also, Mr. V noticed the other night that the book is also sexist: the evil trains are all “he” and the good ones are “she.”)

I don’t reeeeallly hate Fox in Socks … but I do think Dr. Seuss probably had a good laugh picturing parents trying to read all these tongue-twisters in a cheerful, good-night book voice. Now I know why we didn’t have this book when I was a kid. And why it was in Goodwill in the first place. That parent was wiser than I.

Which kids’ books do you secretly (or not-so-secretly) hate?

Since Jill has a sense of humor, I’m linking up these books I DON’T love to her Things I Love Thursday carnival.

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How to Find Free Blog Design

When I wrote about ten tips for beginning bloggers, one of the tips I meant to include was about blog design. But I get distracted (SQUIRREL!). I was so full of ideas for that post I may need to make a part two!

For now, I want to talk about some easy and free blog design.

What Is Blog Design?

Blog design is what your blog looks like when someone stops by to visit. As much as we want it to be all about the writing … honestly, if a blog looks bad, I’m probably not going to stick around.

I had a generic Blogger design when I started blogging in 2006–and for at least a year and half. I didn’t know any better, and I didn’t know that anyone was reading my blog anyway.

If you are just writing for family to keep up with your kids or a journal only you want to read, you can stop reading here. As with my tips for blogging, these tips are really for people who want to generate traffic to their blog.

That said, if you are interested in increasing your traffic and your blog looks like one of these:

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GenericWordpressBlog

GenericBloggerBlog2

GenericBloggerBlog3

GenericBloggerBlog4

… you may want to consider some design. (Any identifying information obviously blurred or distorted to protect the innocent.)

Blog Design Options

Your mind may go to paid blog design first thing. My current design I paid for, and I think it’s well worth the money! (Jo-Lynne from DCR Design created it for me.) For a year or more before that, however, I had a free but very unique design.

I can’t find it anymore, but it was based off this illustration:

For a blog subtitled Trying to Be the Housewife I’m Not, I think this was a GREAT find for a template. And I never saw another blog with the same design, even though it was free!

To recap, we have three choices in design: generic templates served by your blogging platform (Blogger or WordPress, likely) [free]; paid design from a skilled designer [not free]; or free design found online [free, but takes time].

Where to Find Free Blog Designs

My favorite way to find free blog design is simply to Google “free blogger template.” If your blog has a theme or niche, I would throw that term in there as well. Let’s say your blog is about fashion and is hosted by Blogger. (Honestly, I don’t know very much about WordPress, so I’m going to stick with what I know here.) So you would search (on Swagbucks, of course!) for “free blogger template fashion.” Let’s see what we find.

Pretty quickly, I found all of these free designs.

The third one I found by going to a site that had “fashion” templates. On the sidebar, it listed their different themes, and I clicked on “shopping,” since the two are pretty related in my mind.

I think all three of those are pretty cute and unique and would be way more interesting and relevant than any of those above.

Alternately, you can use backgrounds from a site like these, which may not be as unique but are at least a little different from every blog out there:

Cutest Blog on the Block
Hot Bliggity Blog
Blogaholic Designs

I will continue this next week with how to implement the design on your site!

I’m adding this post to Things I Love Thursday, because I love a blog that looks good! And don’t forget to prepare your posts for Why I Friday! Also, I hope you will take this as helpful, not critical. There was so much I didn’t know when I was starting out with blogging, and I want to share information.

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Things I Love Thursday: Cookie Exchanges

I love the idea of having a cookie exchange any time of year! Why not mix it up a little? Jen is a faithful reader and commenter of Vanderbilt Wife. Thanks, Jen, for this guest post! 

There are some things I’ll never understand. Like, why do people only break out the pumpkin around Thanksgiving? And, deviled eggs. Yes, a great picnic food, but why not all year round? Next year, I think I’ll make pumpkin pie for Easter and deviled eggs for Thanksgiving. That will really throw everyone for a loop. Which brings me to Christmas and cookies. Why the big push for cookies at Christmastime? I need them all year round!

We recently had our annual mother’s club cookie exchange. What could be more exciting than going to a party and coming home with six dozen different kinds of cookies? It *could* have something to do with the fact that I’m 33 weeks pregnant. Maybe.

Never done a cookie exchange? Here’s how it works. Everyone who is participating tells the other participants what type of cookie they are planning to make. That way there are no duplicates and plenty of variety. The number of people participating is the number of dozen cookies you make and bring to the party. The extra dozen is for everyone to enjoy at the party.

One of our moms hosts the cookie exchange, and we all bring our kids. The cookies were wonderful and the company delightful! Here is what I came home with: Chocolate Pecan Bark, Butter Cookies, Cracker Candy (this should just be shortened to Crack Candy, really), White Chocolate Cranberry Shortbread Cookies, Chocolate Caramel Bars, and Chocolate Chip Cookies with Mint Sprinkles.

This year, I opted for my tried and true molasses cookies. Now, I never considered myself to be a fan of spice or gingerbread cookies. I think it’s because I love soft, chewy cookies and those cookies were always crunchy when I tried them. These cookies are chewy, spicy, sugary rounds of goodness. They are by far my husband’s favorite and most requested cookie.

Molasses Cookies

3/4 c. unsalted butter, softened
1 c. brown sugar
1 egg
1/2 c. molasses
2 ½ c. flour
2 t. baking soda
1 t. cinnamon
1/2 t. salt
1/2 t. ginger
1/2 t. cloves
1/2 c. white sugar for rolling cookies

  1. Beat butter and brown sugar until fluffy. Add egg and molasses and beat for one minute.
  2. Combine dry ingredients and whisk together. Add flour mixture to wet ingredients and mix until just combined. Cover dough and refrigerate for 1-2 hours.
  3. Put white sugar in shallow bowl or pie plate. Use tablespoon cookie scoop and roll balls in sugar completely. Place on cookie sheets lined with parchment paper.
  4. Bake at 350 degrees for 8 minutes. Makes 4 ½ dozen cookies.
Have you ever done a cookie exchange? What is your favorite crowd-pleasing cookie recipe?
Jennifer Young is wife to Jay and mommy to Tommy & Baby Girl due early 2011. She recently decided to leave a career in commercial real estate to be an at-home mom. Jen loves baking, reading, traveling, and spending time with family and friends. She also has a now-defunct blog A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That.

 
Added to Things I Love Thursday at The Diaper Diaries.
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Things I Hate Thursday: Maternity Pants

I think maternity pants must be made by men.

For starters, I have never found one pair of maternity jeans that will stay up. In my pregnancy with Libbie, I suffered through this for 7 months. I had three pairs, at least, and not one would stay up. I swore that the next time I was pregnant, I would buy a decent–even expensive–pair of jeans.

And I did! I bought the much-recommended Secret Fit Belly jeans from Motherhood. BRAND NEW. (OK–with a gift card from my mom. ‘Cause we all know it might kill me to pay $35 for one item of clothing.)

From their first wear, I found them awful. Somehow the inside of the jeans was bumpy and itchy. And they would not stay up.

Now, despite my size, I do not have a lot of junk in the trunk, so to speak. And maybe I bought them too big? Who knows. But it seems the same with all maternity pants. There are three key issues:

1. They won’t stay up, forcing the wearer to constantly readjust.
2. They don’t have pockets. Because apparently pregnant women don’t need those.
3. They are WAY too short.

If you can wear these when you’re pregnant, I don’t want to know.

I have khakis, yoga pants, green cargo pants. They are all insanely short, especially considering that I am only 5’3″ and usually that is not an issue at all. And yes, they are pants, not capris. Is this only my issue or can we all complain together: BEING PREGNANT DOES NOT MIRACULOUSLY MAKE YOU SHORTER!!? In fact, a little extra length might make up for the spreading hips and the-baby-made-me-eat-that thighs.

I pretty much live in pajama pants or the two pair of Old Navy maternity yoga pants I have totally not worn for the last three years, pregnant or not. (Sadly, it appears they don’t make these anymore. Sacrilege!)

Is there an answer? Is it possible to create a pair of maternity pants that might actually stay up despite a burgeoning, whale-like belly? And be long enough? And, for the love of Pete, have pockets, too?

If you’ve found those miracle pants, I’d like to know. I’ll put them on my list of things to buy the next time I am pregnant. (Oh dear. I don’t even want to think about that right now.)

Because Jill told me I could, I am linking this to Things I Love Thursday. ‘Cause I would LOVE to find a pair of pants that magically fit. 

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The Dr. Seuss Birthday Party

Or, how to inevitably stress yourself out over a two-year-old’s birthday, but still have a great time at the end. Dr. Seuss-style.

It would have been cute to have “Thing 1, Thing 2″ cupcakes a la Kara’s Party Ideas …

… but my One Fish, Two Fish cupcakes were simple to make and probably tasted just as good! (And I didn’t have to worry about melting cotton candy.)

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I didn’t get my craft together in time …

… but the kids had fun coloring these simple, free-from-the-Internet coloring pages!

Coloring table

Friends were going to bring a little slide, but it wouldn’t fit in their car …

… and yet, I can’t imagine the kids would have had more fun than they had in this car, being pushed around by all the grown-ups.

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Our house isn’t perfect. Our backyard is sloped. We don’t have a fenced-in yard. There are giant dogs barking next door. We don’t have enough parking, and live on a very busy road.

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A lot of excuses to pay someone big bucks to let me have a little party at their park, or zoo, or inflatable play place.

But for us, this was perfect. The birthday girl had a huge blast. Friends and family came.

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As usual, I should have stressed less, spent less money, and breathed a little more. Even with stressing, there’s no way I could have done this without the help of my parents, hubby, and sister, and last-minute aid from my in-laws. My dad was cleaning my house all morning while I scurried around (or, well, drank coffee on the sofa in my pajames). My sister learned how to make buttercream. My mom made green eggs, just for me.

Several of these signs were hanging from our tree.

It was, in my opinion, pretty dang awesome.

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Thanks to everyone who made it happen–especially those who gave advice on my original post!

{Libbie’s adorable pillowcase dress is from Southern Sass Boutique.}


Making my birthday girl overwhelmed with giggles and fun is definitely a thing I love!

Added to Show Us Your Life Friday at Kelly’s Korner. Go here for more planning and ideas: Dr. Seuss Birthday Party.

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Things I Love Thursday: Baby Boy Stuff

Perhaps a more accurate title for this would be, “Things I Am Trying to Love Thursday.” Because honestly? Girl stuff is just cuter. I would rather shop for Libbie than David any day. Luckily, we’ve been blessed with more hand-me-down clothes than little David could wear, at least in 0-6 months, so I’ve not done much shopping on that end.

We have bought a few things for our little son, and I can’t resist sharing them!

Graco Lauren Crib and Changing Table

Graco Lauren Classic Crib, Espresso

Libbie’s crib is something we got from a garage sale. It is drop-side, somewhat broken, and just in bad shape; so we decided to get a new crib for David. The espresso color just says “manly,” doesn’t it? I really like the set.

Dwell Studios “Circles” Crib Bedding

Mr. V and I found this bedding for $15 at a consignment sale. Woohoo! We both like it, and we’re planning on painting the bedroom the color of the blue dot.

Baby Papasan Swing in Nature’s Touch

OK, so this isn’t actually new. We bought it for Libbie. With real money. And she used it a handful of times. She was a total bouncy seat baby and had zero interest in the swing. Because I am a cheapskate and would like to get some money’s worth out of this thing, I really hope David will like to swing!

All boy clothes aren’t ugly, of course. I love the little polo shirts, sweater vests, khakis, and overalls. And I adore this cute onesie my mom and sister bought for me from Gymboree. We all know how I feel about Gymboree, right?

In all truthfulness, I am still scared about having a boy. I don’t have any brothers; I am afraid I know nothing about raising a son. So tell me the truth: how different is it?!

Added to Things I Love Thursday at The Diaper Diaries

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Things I Love Thursday: Imprint Mats

Giveaway is now closed. The winner is #43, Nesting Project (Rosy)! Congratulations!

A few months ago, I was contacted by a company to try out their Imprint Comfort Mats. The company makes the following promises about their mats:

✓ Reduces overall fatigue and pain associated with standing on hard surfaces
✓ Beneficial to individuals with back, thigh and lower leg or foot discomfort
✓ Conforms to the shape of your feet and supports your arches resulting in soothing relief

I was VERY skeptical, but my cousin Tricia had already raved about the mats, which gave me some hope.  I am pregnant, have scoliosis, and often do long cooking sessions in the kitchen which usually kill my back. I have the hardest time with OAMC because of the constant leaning over, standing, and chopping. My back just does not like long times standing on hard surfaces. (I even quit a retail job after 6 weeks mainly because of this issue.)

I won’t say that the Imprint Mat is a miracle-worker, but I have definitely had less back pain in the kitchen. When I did my mini-OAMC session in July, my only complaint was that I needed to move my mat back and forth from in front of the sink, the stove, and the counter where I chop!

It’s like they read my mind, because soon after I received the longer (20″x72″) runner mat in the mail. Hallelujah!! Now the mats line all my counters and I am happy as a clam. Seriously, these things are amazing.

They come in two sizes: the runner, as listed above; and standard, which is 20″x36″.

I sure wish this were my kitchen. Don’t you?
I only wish the price point were not quite so high. Being a cheapskate, I would have a difficult time paying $70 for a kitchen mat. It’s almost silly, though, because $70 would have saved me SO much back pain and agony it would totally be worth it.

If you’re also cheap, you’re in luck, because you have the chance to WIN a standard Imprint Mat! To enter, go to their site and tell me what your favorite feature about the mat is.

For an additional entry, Tweet about this contest and leave me the link for your specific Tweet. Here’s a Tweet you can use, if you like:

Win a super-comfy Anti-Fatigue Comfort Mat from @vanderbiltwife! http://bit.ly/8Y7WIi

Contest is open until 9/8. YOU MUST LEAVE YOUR E-MAIL OR HAVE IT CONNECTED TO YOUR BLOGGER ACCOUNT. I will not be hunting you down. Go to Blogger.com, click on “edit profile,” and check the box that says “show my e-mail address.” This will get you five stars and a sticker in my book.

Good luck!

Linked to Things I Love Thursday at The Diaper Diaries.

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Things I Love Thursday: Sesame Street

OK, so Libbie won’t actually watch a whole Sesame Street episode. But she does love the characters. Despite her mother and father’s immense distaste for Elmo, she became addicted to him after one hand-me-down book.

Now we have several books and know exactly what times Sesame Street and Play with Me Sesame are on TV. It’s sort of sad. But it makes me giggle to hear her say with glee, “Er-near!!!” (Ernie.) Just watch the video and try to not smile.

Sesame Street is definitely a thing we love in our house.

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Creative Discovery Museum: Things I Love Thursday

Libbie and I moved to Chattanooga in January with an aquarium membership fresh in our pockets. I assumed she and I would go there quite a bit. But I also wanted to check out the children’s museum–the Creative Discovery Museum.

We quickly fell in love! While Libbie is still too young to appreciate much of what’s going on there, it’s a great place for her to just run around, play, touch, and explore. As she’s grown she’s become more and more fond of the music section and the art section, too. I hope we’ll keep our membership at the museum for many years to come!

Yesterday we took our first family trip to the museum–Mr. V had never been. Here’s some photographic evidence of the journey.

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Libbie colored and played with clay in the art room …

 

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 Dug for dinosaur bones with Daddy …

 

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Explored different kinds of rocks …

 

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 And played many drums as well as this old Nickelodeon piano!

The Creative Discovery Museum is very reasonable for a year’s membership … and is a place I truly love!

For more Things I Love Thursday, visit Jill at The Diaper Diaries.

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Things I Love Thursday: Really Good Bread

My favorite food in the entire world has three components: warm bread, butter, and orange marmalade.

It’s a match made in heaven. I promise! (It is, indeed, quite the simple finer thing.)

I love Jo-Lynne’s Whole Wheat Sandwich Bread recipe, but I saw this recipe in the Meet Me at the Loveless cookbook and was intrigued. It is, after all, the infamous Loveless Cafe! Everything there is good.

I slightly tweaked the recipe, so here is my version. I give it an A+, and it makes AMAZING grilled cheese.

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Loveless Cafe Bread Loaves
Adapted from Meet Me at the Loveless

1 medium potato, peeled and boiled until very soft
1/3 cup butter, softened
1/3 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
1 egg, beaten
1 envelope dry yeast (2 1/4 tsp. bread machine yeast)
1/2 cup warm water
3 cups whole wheat flour
1 1/2 to 2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 T melted butter

Drain potato, reserving 1 cup cooking liquid. Mash the potato in a small bowl and let cool slightly.

Cream butter, sugar, salt, and egg in an electric mixer. Add potato and mix well.

Dissolve yeast in the 1/2 cup warm water. Add to potato mixture.

Change beaters to dough hooks, if you have them. Set mixer to 2. Add 2 cups whole wheat flour alternately with the 1 cup cooking liquid, mixing well after each addition. Gradually add in the remaining flour until the dough starts to clean the side of the bowl. When that happens, let mixer go an additional 2 minutes.

If your dough looks a little shiny, great! You’re ready. If not, you may need to knead it for a few additional minutes. (I have a Sunbeam Mixer, which is not quite as hardcore as a KitchenAid and sometimes I think it’s going to explode before the bread is really ready.)

Place the dough in a greased bowl and put somewhere warm. Cover with a damp towel. Let rise for an hour or until dough is doubled.

Punch dough down; divide in half. Shape into loaves. (I sort of push it into a rectangle, roll it up, and then tuck in the ends.) Place in two greased loaf pans. Cover with the towel again and let rise another 30-45 minutes or until doubled again.

Brush dough with melted butter. Bake at 350 for 25 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from pans and let cool on a wire rack.

And then, in your best Julia Child voice, say, “Bon Appetit!”

Added to Jill’s Things I Love Thursday carnival & Finer Things Friday at Amy’s. 
And yes, this post is full of Amazon affiliate links. Ignore them if you like. :)

See more bread-making links at Smockity Frocks!
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