A Few Awkward Pictures … and Oh, Happy Mother’s Day!

Posted on May 9, 2010 by vanderbiltwife

Happy Mother’s Day to my mom, who put up with me as an insanely precocious child …

… a shy, painful teenager who wore fanny packs …

… and as a wacky, medicated adult who still calls her mommy and cries because she wishes Mommy lived closer …

(image by Leisa Hammett)

It’s a good thing I gave her a really cute granddaughter to make up for it all.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Top Ten Tuesday: Intentional Parenting and Inspirations

Posted on March 16, 2010 by vanderbiltwife

For at least two weeks, God’s been trying to get my attention about intention. There was this post from Amy Beth which I love insanely and have shared several times. A radio program called “Intentional Living.” Reading Impress Your Kids. And just all of these realizations about being at home now. For me, being at home has magnified how lazy I really am.

Remember my Top Ten Surprises about Staying Home? Apparently confessing my shortcomings has not made me want to battle them any more. I want to have a clean house, fresh laundry, nutritious meals, and never-ending patience–as well as be a good listener, helpmate, lover, and supporter to my husband. As soon as I look at all of these things in one place, my head seriously starts to explode, and I go check out Facebook instead.

I’m working on writing a guest post for Impress Your Kids about steps I am taking to be more intentional, but I’d love to know what your tricks and inspirations are, too! Please share them in the comments.

Here are my Top Ten people and things that inspire me to be a more intentional parent.

1. The Bible. Well, of course. Not only does regular Bible study help me keep focused on what is right and true, the more I read the more I want to teach Libbie. If she’s awake when I am doing my study, I will read to her right from my “big-person” Bible. She enjoyed listening to some of Esther yesterday!

2. Impress Your Kids. Just go read it all and get back to me. I want to impress the Truth onto Libbie’s heart!

3. The Finer Things in Life. Amy inspires me to be a better mother, wife, and homemaker. She has a gentle, guiding spirit and it was such a blessing to get to meet her in real life! (If you are thinking about becoming a SAHM ever, you should read her Mommy, Come Home Series.)

4. Family Fun magazine. (Follow @FamilyFun on Twitter.) Chock full of great ideas for every age, Family Fun is a GREAT magazine for inspiration. I think I got my subscription for free at some point, but I will definitely renew when the time comes!

5. (in)courage. The (in)courage posts are not all, or even primarily, about parenting, but the amazing authors there encourage me to be better and MORE in all aspects of my life.

6. Twiggie Makes. Candace’s enthusiasm for life and love for her kids (and finding TIME to cook and craft) make me happy and ready to push forward! She’s amazing and has become a true friend.

7. Reading. I am trying to read more parenting books, but I think reading in general sparks creativity–and it also gets me off the computer! I have read some GREAT books recently, including The Stolen Child, Sonata for Miriam, The Book Thief, and The Happiest Toddler on the Block. (If you like to read and you haven’t read it, please drop what you’re doing RIGHT NOW and go read The Book Thief. It’s the best book I have read possibly ever.)

8. Disconnecting. I’ve found more and more lately that the way for me to focus is turn off the computer, TV, even music. I need the calm.

9. Playing. Just sitting on the floor with Libbie often gives me ideas of other things to do with her. I become familiar with what interests her and what she doesn’t like. Also the more I try to have “special time” with her, where I allow no distractions for myself, the better behaved she is the rest of the day.

10. Creating mantras. My attitude is SO much better when I go into a task repeating, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men” (Colossians 3:23) than if I think, “Why do I have to do this? Ugh, I hate housework.”

I hope this helps inspire you, and I would LOVE to know some of your inspirations whether it be for parenting, housekeeping, being a better spouse, or just improving yourself in general.

For more Top Ten Tuesday, visit OhAmanda.com.

This post includes Amazon affiliate links. Read more in my disclosure policy. —-
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Mommy’s First Christmas: A Premature Surprise

Posted on December 15, 2009 by vanderbiltwife

Thank you, JessieLeigh, for guest posting on your first Christmas as a mommy! What an amazing Christmas miracle. See the first installment of Mommy’s First Christmas here.
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I remember December 22, 2005 like it was yesterday.

It was my very first Christmas season as a mother. True, the year before I had been eight months pregnant as we celebrated that sacred holiday, but this was to be my first Christmas with a baby. My son was approaching 11 months old and, to add to the excitement, I was already five months pregnant with our second child. We lived in a new state and my husband had a very long commute while I stayed home, alone and isolated, in our country home. Still, it was an exciting time and we were eager to scrape together what funds we could to make it a special first Christmas for our baby boy.

That December day, I ventured out to do some last-minute Christmas shopping and shipping. I arrived home exhausted and triumphant—I had completed what I had set out to do.

The next morning, I woke up and felt kind of achy and “off.” It was quickly apparent to me that I may have pushed myself too hard the day before. I didn’t worry too much about it—I was in that second trimester “honeymoon” period and wasn’t at all big or uncomfortable yet … I’d only gained four pounds. Still, I figured I’d lie low and just get some snuggles in with my little guy. There was nothing pressing I had to get done.

Right around noon, as I crocheted the last scarf I needed to complete, I felt something that didn’t feel right. It felt like I might be bleeding. A quick check revealed that I was and thus began a couple of very wild days …

The days leading up to my son’s first Christmas soon took on a completely different pattern. My mother-in-law met me on my whirlwind trip to the hospital and took my son to stay with her. One sister-in-law helped with my little guy, the other drove me two hours to the “big-city” hospital. My husband met me there.

Less than two days and all sorts of medications later, it was December 23rd, 11:45 PM. I already knew I was not getting out of the hospital for Christmas. I was hoping to stay there for several more weeks, in fact. I wasn’t leaving until my baby was born and the odds were not good at all for a baby born so early to survive. I already knew my first Christmas as Mommy would be spent on my back with my darling baby son visiting me in a hospital room.

What I didn’t know was that, by the time Christmas Eve ushered in that midnight, I would be whisked away for a wild emergency c-section and, at 12:32 am, I would welcome my second child into the world at barely 24-weeks gestation—a little girl. A little girl who somehow defied the odds and survived the birth. A little girl who—literally—brought two of the doctors to their knees when her cry filled the room. Twenty-four weekers never cry, they told me …

That first Christmas as a mother was a terrifying one. The first 48 hours were very dangerous ones for my new little 1 lb 5 oz daughter. As she lost weight like any newborn and drifted down to 1 lb 2 oz, our hearts sank. When my in-laws brought my chubby nearly-11-month old son in to see me and I couldn’t hold him due to the surgery I’d had, I bit back tears and sang carols to him as he snuggled by my side.

My first Christmas as Mommy was the most intense, frightening, emotional time of my life …

But it was also triumphant.

I’ve since had the joy of experiencing my son and daughter’s 2nd, 3rd, and 4th Christmases (together each time because they’re less than eleven months apart!). This year, we added a third child to our family and I look forward to her first Christmas being a much more peaceful one than her siblings’. It will be a simple affair—my daughter’s early arrival that Christmas Eve of ’05 taught me that we don’t need a lot of trappings to celebrate—but it will be a meaningful one. Each of my children has added deeper meaning to my life and shown me more of what’s important …

And the greatest gift I’ve ever received is the privilege of being Mommy.

JessieLeigh is a stay-at-home mommy of three little ones four and under. She can be found blogging at Parenting The Tiniest Of Miracles where she writes about finding joy in life with a micropreemie. In her real life, she’s usually found baking, doing laundry, and constantly singing.

Mommy’s First Christmas

Posted on December 10, 2009 by vanderbiltwife

I’m working on a series of guest posts on what I call “Mommy’s First Christmas”—how Christmas changes for you once you are a parent. So you’ll see a smattering of these over the next few weeks. Here is my reflection from last Christmas, originally entitled “Mary.”
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I think it’s probably only natural that this Christmas is different for me.

Not only I am too bogged down in newborn-ness to really decorate, bake, or buy presents, I’ve had a child this year.

Now when I reflect on the nativity on top of my china cabinet, I think a little differently. I consider how much pain Mary must have been in on her donkey, traveling many miles from Nazareth to Bethlehem (a quick Internet search says anywhere from 60 to 90 miles). I was so uncomfortable in my last weeks of pregnancy I could barely sit in my desk chair. I spent most of it on the couch watching movies and old Project Runway episodes. If she was having contractions, all the worse!

Now I am sure God could have given Mary a very easy labor if He wanted, and maybe He did, but why should we think it was any different than what we go through to give birth? She probably hurt tremendously. She certainly had no epidural. She was in a stinking stable! And can you imagine Joseph’s face as he had to cut the cord? Deliver the placenta?

Joseph and Mary were humans, and I think sometimes we forget that. And this year I can identify with Mary and look at the scene differently. Imagine her feelings of honor, excitement, pain, joy, and exhaustion all at the same time. And responsibility.

And then there was the Savior of the world, in her arms. Not just the joy of holding your own baby, whom you have carried in your belly for many months and felt kick and respond to your voice. The joy of holding in her arms her very own Savior.

I really, REALLY love the CD The Nativity Story: Sacred Songs. I would encourage you to go to iTunes or Amazon and at least get “The Virgin’s Lullaby” and this song, which has brought me to tears many times this season already.

Labor of Love (go listen here on Peterson’s own blog)
Andrew Peterson

It was not a silent night
There was blood on the ground
You could hear a woman cry
In the alleyways that night
On the streets of David’s town …

Originally posted December 13, 2008. Added to 5 Days of Christmas at A Slob Comes Clean.

The 12 Days of Libbie: Day 6

Posted on October 21, 2009 by vanderbiltwife

Sometimes I feel like I barely recognize this little not-even-six-month version of my daughter.

I went in and peeked at her in her crib this morning. She looked so grow up in her two-piece pajamas, laying on her back, blanket thrown halfway over her stomach. Her pacifier had been long-forgotten in the night.

At six months, she was just starting to eat solids. Starting to sleep longer stretches again. Learning to love singing and playing with toys. Starting to sit up on her own.

It’s amazing how fast the time flies, how quickly she advances in skills, how blurry everything in the last six months seems as we’ve encountered change after change after change.

That little baby who was trying to sit up is now attempting to walk, has an attitude the size of California, and will happily eat a whole grilled cheese sandwich.

It’s wild, and I know it will only continue in this blurry fashion. I hold her tight, trying not to let the time go too quickly.

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If you’d like to help celebrate Libbie’s birthday, please write a post loving on your kid(s) and link to it here. You’re welcome to use something you’ve already written, I just ask that you link back to my site. We all get so wrapped up in the everyday of parenting that I think it’s important to remember the special moments. I’m excited to share these moments with you and to read yours! Code for the button is in the sidebar.

The 12 Days of Libbie: Day 3

Posted on October 18, 2009 by vanderbiltwife

I took this picture the night before I went back to work. Honestly, it’s just about the only picture I have that I like from her third month. How sad is that?

Going back to work was an adventure. I’ve written a little bit about it on Divine Caroline and November’s issue of ParentLife magazine. Here’s an excerpt about my first week back from the Divine Caroline article:

Friday: The week has begun to wear on me. I am so glad it’s Friday and I get to spend the weekend with my little family! When I went to feed Libbie at lunch, most all of the other babies were screaming. It ate me up thinking about her laying there crying and not having anyone paying attention to her. It’s all I could imagine all afternoon. By 3, I was practically in tears. One of my coworkers encouraged me to go get her and bring her back to work. He didn’t have to ask twice! I went and grabbed her and brought her back for oohing and ahhing by my coworkers (again). When I picked her up, she had dried spit-up on her neck and that made me upset and sad. Hope she doesn’t develop a rash.

The perils of the work-outside-the-home mom are many. (I try to always put it that way, because I know stay-at-home moms work, too!) I try not to regret the fact that I’ve let others see my baby more than I have for the last 9 months. It breaks my heart to think about it, because I’ve always wanted to stay at home with my baby.

But then I think about Libbie and her little daycare friend Reagan, holding hands and laughing together (seriously! at like 5 and 6 months!). How my current sitter, Amber, told me that her daughter was in Target this weekend and picked up a whole armful of clothes for “Baby Libbie.” I’m glad that Libbie loves other kids, is extremely laid-back, and is comfortable around other adults, too. While maybe it wasn’t the ideal situation for me, I’m grateful that those caring for my daughter have done so lovingly and she has truly benefited from their love.

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Coming Home

Posted on October 10, 2009 by vanderbiltwife

I am so, so happy I clicked over to the blog Alli-n-Son from Sarah’s Your Life, Your Blog carnival this week. The title of Alli’s post–about moving from being a work-outside-the-home-mom to a stay-at-home-mom–definitely spoke to me!

So I’ve been browsing back through some of her posts and read one about her plans for her first day as a stay-at-home-mom. Wow. Now that’s something to think about!

I have dreamed about being a SAHM for a long time. Long before Libbie was in my belly, long before Mr. V and I had even talked about marriage, my heart was to be at home with my future children. I am so, so excited that this dream will finally be coming to fruition as soon as we can sell our house and get out of Nashville and to Chattanooga.

The thing is, I don’t KNOW Chattanooga! I could probably tell you what I would do for my first day at home in Nashville. Maybe go to the zoo, plan a lunch with Jill, walk around Radnor Lake with Libbie in the Ergo, and take a long and blissful nap. I’ve always wanted to take my babies to a marionette show or story time at the gorgeous Main Library, hang out with a MOPS group, and go to Wednesday morning Bible study at church.

But, I’m not going to be here, in this city that I know. And really, I don’t know much about Chattanooga. I know we live sort of near a mall. We have a sweet little backyard to play in. I know where Target is and of a cute little thrift store. I know I want to get year passes for the aquarium and the children’s museum.

For that first day, though? I have no clue. I’d be happy to take any suggestions from those local to Chattanooga!

Really, it doesn’t matter. Because I will be home. I am thrilled.

[More stories of life at Your Life, Your Blog, every Monday!]

Motherhood is Not for the Weak

Posted on September 19, 2009 by vanderbiltwife

Sometimes I think I underestimated how difficult it would be to have a child.

No, not the labor–although that was sort of difficult, in my case. And perhaps quite a bit painful.

But the actual HAVING the child, day to day.

Not that I would trade it for anything in the world. I love this little blue-eyed wild child, my prissy princess who is into everything.

Most of the difficulty right now comes from the only parent during the week thing. (Single parents, I revere you. I don’t know how you do it.) Last night I needed to go to the library, our church’s consignment sale, and to a friend’s house to pick up Libbie’s pack and play (had left it there one night a few weeks ago). Libbie was already having a not-so-great day; she was gassy and fussy and hadn’t napped well.

Library: easy and check. Consignment sale: there were no strollers allowed during the hour I needed to go. So I wore her in the Ergo carrier as I battled a hundred other women for prime 12-18 months clothes. I had never tried to do the consignment sale thing before on preview night OR with the babe. She was fussy. She threw her paci on the floor 300 times. I was exasperated. I didn’t get to look through the clothes as much as I normally would have because I just wanted to get out of there.

I did, however, get a really cute pair of StrideRite soft-soled shoes with bunnies on them for $3.

Buckled her back into the carseat. Gave her a pancake I had thrown in her diaper bag for her to eat on the way to the friend’s house. She got crumbs everywhere, of course. Then she fell asleep. Lopsided.

Got to the house. She is afraid of their Husky. Wrestled the pack and play to the ground. Have a very tired baby who I try to give some formula. Mostly she drips it on the friend’s floor. (I think she is over formula. Nor will she nurse at all. Interesting.)

Needless to say, I was exhausted by the time I got home. And then I have to pack because we’re going to Chattanooga this weekend. Where we do not have: a crib, anywhere to sit, cable, Internet, toys, a table, food, a high chair, or pretty much anything else except a china cabinet, Christmas decorations, and books.

This is not exactly what I imagined when I was pregnant. I spent a lot of time thinking about cuddling a tiny baby and not a lot of time picturing a rambunctious almost-toddler trying to be entertained in a house without any of her things.

Have you been equally surprised by motherhood? Have I just scared the heck out of you?

Motherly Dichotomies

Posted on September 9, 2009 by vanderbiltwife

For some reason I’m having a hard time dealing with the fact that Libbie’s outgrown her 9-month clothes–and she’s 10 1/2 months!

I guess it’s the perpetual motherhood thing. Every time she gets bigger or does something new, it’s exciting. But it hurts a little. It will never be her first laugh, first smile, first solids ever again.

Perhaps this sudden realization on top of the fact that we’re now really weaned (as of yesterday) has just been too much.

I’m sure you understand if you have kids. You want them to grow, of course! But you miss the sweetness of days past. The tiny baby who would sleep on your chest for hours, solely nourished herself on your milk, and you weren’t worry would start climbing your bookcase the moment you turned your back.

I try to pull her to me and she pushes away. Too curious, too anxious to move on to the next thing. She pulls up on the coffee table, little cloth-diapered booty shaking up and down as she tries to steady herself. She loves to dance.

Before my eyes, she is more and more of a little girl and less of a baby. Soon she’ll be eating more real foods, walking, and talking. And then we’ll have new things to look forward to: her first “I love you, Mommy.” First steps. First birthday.

All I can do is love the now. Every moment. I didn’t want to put her to bed tonight even though she was SO tired. She was actually cuddling and giggling as we played our favorite “Ooh! Mommy stole your paci!” game and she got raspberries on her tummy. Those tired eyes peered at me with love, enjoyment at just playing with her mommy. On her lap, a safe place.

The now, it is good. No matte what size clothes she wears.

It’s Poop Again

Posted on June 17, 2009 by vanderbiltwife

There are some things “they” just don’t tell you about motherhood (just like “they” don’t tell you about pregnancy [or your body after birth, via Kacie]).

They certainly don’t tell you that your darling daughter won’t poop for a week but be fairly happy until, of course, she returns to daycare. Then she will scream bloody murder and they will ask you to come over and RETRIEVE THE POOP YOURSELF since she can’t push it out.

Oh. My. Word.

I checked with a few other parents to make sure this was something that actually happened to other people. That my daycare providers are not voo doo practicing nuts or something.

It’s true. Shudder.

And I did. Oh yes, I did.

So you will understand why I am still in shock and have nothing else to write about tonight.

Submitted to Kristen’s “THAT Family Moment” carnival.