Vacation and a Wedding

Posted on July 26, 2012 by vanderbiltwife

Despite the crazy circumstances leading up to our vacation/wedding trip to the Outer Banks, I think I can file it away in my memory as pretty fabulous.

I got to see my little ones see the ocean for the first time, to dip their toes in the water and dig up sand with their hands and shovels. Libbie got great kicks out of waiting by the water until the wave rolled in and then scurrying away from it up the beach. Her leg muscles are obviously in much better shape than mine!

I always enjoy seeing my parents and my sister love on the kiddos. The kids love it, too! They adore Nana, Poppy, and “Ashy-Roo.”

I was amazed at how much Libbie loved exploring the historical Roanoke Island site we went to. I wasn’t sure I would be able to drag her off the ship!

And to top it off, I got to be in the wedding of my very best friend, my soul sister, and get reacquainted with friends from college. We’ve vowed to not let it be so long between visits the next time!

Somehow, I have no pictures of me in my bridesmaid’s dress! I thought it was quite pretty and I loved my hair and make-up.

This week we’ve been in recovery mode, I think, from all the travel and moving. I am flat-out exhausted. As soon as I pull this apartment into shape, though, I’ll share pictures – especially of Libbie’s precious pink butterfly room.

Class of 2004, Seven Years Later

Posted on September 5, 2011 by vanderbiltwife

We were the ones who went to the Cellar and passed around a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey, sang karaoke, listened to the band of the guy with the spikey hair.

We spent countless hours in each other’s rooms but this weekend had a difficult time remembering the names of roommates and mens’ dorms.

We dated each other, loved one another, played so many games of Euchre and Apples to Apples I couldn’t ever begin to imagine the numbers. We had 24-hour movie marathons with French onion dip and Fritos, chai tea and out-of-town guests.

We had next-door on-campus apartments, a scary couch of death, Hamburger Helper in the tiny old kitchen, two beach houses, and a body-shaped dent in the wall.

_______

In August, Mr. V and I attended a wedding in Boston for one of our best friends from college. We joined up with my best friend Michelle, her fiance – one of our college gang, and another dear friend (both men lived with Mr. V our senior year, and Michelle and I lived next door).

We hadn’t seen the groom in two-and-a-half years, we didn’t even know how he met his bride, but it didn’t matter. He is our Sam, was one of the groomsmen in our wedding, and we needed to be there.

It’s been over seven years since we graduated from college; we’ve lived in two cities and are moving in our fourth home since that time. Seven years of marriage, death of Michelle’s mom, break-ups and get-togethers, several countries and even more states under our respective belts.

Post-college friendships are different. You don’t spend as much time together. You aren’t all removed from family and all former friends. You don’t spend time laying on green astroturf fields, staring at the stars, doing cartwheels, and sharing dreams. You don’t sing numerous duets with your best friend to Broadway songs (and always make her be the guy).

These people are etched so deeply in my heart I can’t unravel them from the rest of my heart’s joys and wants and passions. In an uncharacteristic sappy moment, I hugged the neck of my sweet Michelle, who is moving thousands of miles away, and told her, “My life is better because I met you.”

Maybe we do still sing Broadway songs together. Just not in the same way.

Do you have songs, places, foods that define your college experience? I’d love to hear your reminiscing.
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Overdue Grief

Posted on March 4, 2010 by vanderbiltwife

I was in sixth grade when my best friend’s mother died.

After months and months of treatments and transplants for leukemia, she had gone into remission. The luminescent Cheryl, at whose house I watched Fried Green Tomatoes and learned to play penny poker. Her daughter–also Jessie–was my constant companion from the time we moved to Timbercreek Court. I remember meeting her when one of our homes was still being built. They sat next door to one another, separated only by a large oak tree.

I don’t remember too much about Cheryl, except for her willowy blonde hair and calming presence. She was willing to let us try experiments in the kitchen or seclude ourselves in a bedroom with Sonic the Hedgehog.

As I can remember, she played a tune on a recorder infected by a sick someone. The cancer came back upon her weakened body.

I will never forget standing in our kitchen in Richmond. We were in the corner by the microwave. My mom turned to me and barely holding it together, said, “It’s time for the big cry. Cheryl’s dead.”

I had the big cry. And months of feeling lost, of not knowing what to say to my very best friend. I didn’t know what it was like to lose my mother.

Gradually, the other Jessie flew away from my life. She moved in with her aunt and uncle in another school district. We visited when she came to stay with her dad, but her house was full of smoke and go-carts and other women now, and it left me smelling disgusting and with a heavy heart.

I was always heart-sick that I didn’t know the right words.

When my Michelle‘s mom died this past May of ovarian cancer, the same feelings washed over me. Why is it that when someone needs you the most you can’t seem to eke out any words? I felt like the most useless friend on the planet. I still didn’t know what it was like and I had nothing to offer. Not being able to see her in person, I couldn’t even share a hug and cry with her.

I am sorry, friends.

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The "Oughts"

Posted on December 30, 2009 by vanderbiltwife

My friend Ashley did a beautiful recap on Facebook of each year of the “oughts,” 2000-2009. The end of a decade. Wow. As I watched this video from Newsweek last week, I realized that although I “grew up” in the 90s, I became a grown up this decade!

On New Year’s Eve 1999 I was just 17, a senior in high school. I celebrated at church with my youth group and watched Ten Things I Hate About You.

On New Year’s Eve 2009, I am 27 and grateful to not be 17. I have a husband and a gorgeous-beyond-belief-still-can’t-fathom-that-she’s-mine daughter.

More for my benefit than yours, here’s what my decade has looked like.

2000
Graduated from high school at GSGIS
Went on a mission trip to the Blackfeet Indian Reservation in Montana and saw the amazing Glacier Park
Started college at the University of Richmond
Met Michelle, the truest soul friend a woman could have
Made stupid mistakes when it came to the male species
Met Mr. V in December when we visited a church together
Joined the Baptist Student Union

2001
Sang “professionally” at a community church and wrote a few songs
Was a summer missionary with IMPACT Virginia
Spent a whole lot of time watching movies in Dennis Hall
Started dating Mr. V on November 5
Realized a great love for literature while taking “Great Novels” class

2002
Became Worship Coordinator for the Baptist Student Union
Interned at The Religous Herald newspaper and wrote, researched, and edited many pieces
Studied abroad for 6 weeks in Beijiing, China, while Mr. V was doing research at CERN in Switzerland
Went to Mr. V’s parents’ house for the first time
Spent Christmas at Disney World where my sister and dad almost killed each other

2003
Was immensely surprised when Mr. V proposed at our Junior Ring Dance–and I, of course, said yes!
Spent the summer doing…something that I can’t remember!
Proudly saw my sister graduate high school and start at Mary Washington College (now University of Mary Washington)
Was in Amanda and Darin’s wedding Thanksgiving weekend
Became president of the BSU
Lived with Michelle in an on-campus apartment next door to Mr. V, Dan, Dan, and Van
Went to my Uncle Steve and Debby’s wedding in December

2004
Finished planning my wedding
Graduated from UR cum laude with a major in English and minor in Chinese
One day after graduation, came to Nashville with Mr. V to find an apartment
One day after that, my daddy’s best friend died of liver cancer
Worked for a month for a bankruptcy lawyer
On July 31, married my best friend and had a gorgeous reception at the Science Museum of Virginia, then honeymooned at El Dorado Royale in Mexico
Two days after we got back, moved to Nashville
Joined Forest Hills Baptist Church in October
Started at LifeWay as a universal customer service rep on November 1

2005
Adopted Chester, a cocker spaniel puppy
Learned what it meant to be a wife, helpmate, and real friend to my husband
Visited our home in Virginia for what I didn’t know would be the last time in May
Let God break down some things in my life through the Believing God journal
Hosted Thanksgiving for both sides of the family in our apartment in Nashville
Spent Christmas in Dayton with my parents, sister, and extended family

2006
Sang in the Broadway Revue at church
Traveled to Thailand for 2 weeks to do tsunami relief
Started my job as a copy editor in Leadership & Adult Publishing for LifeWay
Bought our first home
Began volunteering weekly at Cottage Cove
Did Believing God study taught by the amazing Shawn Lantz (and with Tammy and Angie and a few other women I adore)
Started this blog in July as a weight-loss journal (that lasted about 3 entries and I never lost any weight)

2007
Sang in the Broadway Revue again (big role: Evil Stepsister from Cinderella)
Had a small meltdown about turning 25, but spent it very nicely at Maggiano’s with Mr. V and our dear friends Jake and Nicole
Led, edited, and wrote the leader guide for No Other Gods Bible study
Trekked to PA and VA for vacation and went to Elise and Jesse’s wedding
Was able to truly forgive several people after MANY years of anger
Traveled to Brazil for a very strange but incredible mission trip
Visited St. Louis with Mr. V
Was in a terrible and scary car accident on October 30
Started trying to conceive but dealt with an anovulatory winter

2008
Officially diagnosed with PCOS
Found out I was pregnant on February 19 and spent nine months enjoying and hating the bumpy ride of pregnancy
Went to Colorado with work
Went on a cruise with Mr. V
Found out we were having a baby GIRL
After 36 hours of labor, welcomed gorgeous baby Libbie into our life
Learned the insanity and heavy weight of a mother’s love, as well as the incredible joy
Enjoyed 10 weeks of maternity leave
Took the Great American Road Trip for Christmas

2009
Loved on my baby girl immensely
Went to Blissdom and began to take the blog thing a little more seriously
Went to the funeral of a friend’s little brother, who died in Iraq
My best friend’s mother died of ovarian cancer
Celebrated 5 years of marriage to my husband
My grandfather died
Experienced a much more difficult year than I had anticipated
Spent four months as a single mom
Had a house on the market for six months+
Prepared for a new life in Chattanooga as a work-at-home/stay-at-home mom
Loved my work as production editor for LifeWay Small Groups/Serendipity
Celebrated Libbie’s first birthday and all her firsts
Spent Christmas in North Carolina with Mr. V’s family
Spent WAY too long writing this recap!

Media that affected me this decade:
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez
This Time Around by Hanson, in particular the songs “This Time Around” and “Dying to Be Alive“
First by Carl Cartee
The Birth of Venus by Sarah Dunant
The Bible
Tara Road and Circle of Friends by Maeve Binchy
Many, many musicals and their songs

Goals and hopes for the next decade:
–Be healthy. Lose weight, eat whole foods, exercise, and teach Libbie these habits.
–Have three more children, biologically or through adoption
–Do more attachment parenting. Be a wonderful mother to Libbie and other children.
–Volunteer.
–Continually strengthen my relationship with my husband. Be his helpmate. Support him.
–Really make our home a haven, wherever we are. Learn to clean, whether I like it or not. Make home a warm, calm environment where my children can welcome friends, we can host on the spur of the moment, and my kids aren’t worried about just being kids.
–Grow closer and closer to Christ. Read the whole Bible, multiple times. Serve in His name. Have family Bible study.
–Establish a successful career as a freelance writer. Finish writing my chicklit novel.
–Teach children (not just mine) a love for missions. Go on a family mission trip. Share my faith continually. Help others to grow in Christ.
–Live with purpose and without fear.

Well, if you’ve made it to the end of this monstrous post, you must share. What are some of the highlights of the “oughts” for you? What are some goals for the next decade?

Family Recipe Fridays: A Friend and a Casserole

Posted on May 29, 2009 by vanderbiltwife

Sometimes family isn’t blood.

I’ve often mentioned my dearest friend Michelle on here. I don’t think she reads the blog, as she is an extremely busy PhD student with a very significant other and a dog! I wish she did, but I think she knows how much I adore her.

Since we went to college in my hometown, often Michelle and I would hide out at my parents’ house at some point during finals. We’d watch old musicals, paint our toenails, and cook. I remember one time she called her mom and asked for this recipe. We threw the casserole together and ate until our tummies were very happy.

Since her mom, Jackie, recently passed away, I’ve been thinking about her and her delicious casserole lately. I think I’ll make it soon and remember her over dinner and a candle.

Jackie’s Broccoli, Chicken, and Stuffing Casserole

1 package Pepperidge Farm stuffing
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 package frozen broccoli spears, thawed
1 chicken breast per person (4-6 work well) [cut into strips or chunks]
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 cup breadcrumbs
1-2 T butter

Spray a 9×11 pan with cooking spray. Cook stuffing according to package directions. Line pan with stuffing. Add layers of broccoli and chicken. Combine soups; pour over the top. Sprinkle with cheese and breadcrumbs; dot with butter.

Bake at 350 for 60 minutes.

To freeze, assemble as normal, cover dish with aluminum foil, and freeze. Defrost and bake according to instructions, adding a few extra minutes if it’s cold. I have tested it though, and it freezes great.

(the “Mickey Mouse” picture)

Other Family Recipe Favorites:

Caprisio Tortellini Salad (The MawMaw) [I have to interject and say--I made this last summer on MawMaw's recommendation, and it was INCREDIBLE. SO GOOD.]
White Pizza (Lattes and Life)
Peach Crumb Cake (Better is Life)
Ham and Green Onion Cream Cheese Spread (Couponing Mom)
Gingerbread (PhotoGrove)
Italian Chicken Sausage Spaghetti (Cooking During Stolen Moments)

Shopping Spree

Posted on June 11, 2008 by vanderbiltwife

I had a fun little shopping spree on oldnavy.com today thanks to a lovely birthday gift from my dear friend Michelle. My only complaint is all over the site they have plastered how you can order things from Gap, ON, and Banana Republic and have them shipped together…but I couldn’t figure out how to do it. Argh. Oh well, just stuck with Old Navy. Here’s what I picked up!

These khakis. I think it’s these. Why can’t I remember?

This little kimono-style top. Oh, who am I kidding? Nothing maternity is “little.” But hopefuly it’ll fit over the belly.

Two of these layering camisoles. Because my old camisoles are no longer covering my belly! I spent a whole day last week with one riding up under a dress and it about drove me batty.

And…these little pink shoes. Cause I totally need more shoes. But these look functional and I can wear them with the khakis to work and hopefully get away with it!!!

Thanks to the gift card, I spent a grand total of $12. Totally worth it!

The Field

Posted on February 1, 2008 by vanderbiltwife

My favorite place on the University of Richmond campus was the astroturf field behind Keller Hall, where I lived my sophomore year. To me, it was enchanted. It revealed secrets. My dear friend Michelle and I spent many nights just laying on the cool, green astroturf talking about life and love (and other mysteries, for any Point of Grace fans out there). She did handstands. I did cartwheels. We watched the stars. Michelle had a special relationship with the constellation Orion, and we looked for his belt, and for Kassieopia. I never felt so free as I did laying, looking at the sky, sharing life together.

In my junior year of college, there was one of these nights of falling stars, and Adam and I went to the same field and watched hundreds of stars fall at all hours of the night. Stars are magic to me. My wedding even had a pseudo “silver star” theme if it had any theme at all.

I feel like such an old lady most of the time that the star-watching years seem like eons ago instead of a mere five or six years. I stay in, go to bed at ten, watch TV, go to church…it’s all good, but sometimes I have this glimmer that it’s not all right. I am extremely passionate, and some days I just think I am going to explode for having to live in the mundane. One of those things about being eternal beings, I suppose, that we are so suited for heaven and yet forced to reside on the earth and make the absolute best we can with that time.

This is yet another post I’m afraid to press “publish” on for fear of those who actually know me and read it and will think I’ve lost my mind. But these writings are for me, more than anyone. So here it goes…

Snow, part two

Posted on January 17, 2008 by vanderbiltwife

My favorite snow memory: Other than the Christmas ice storm, my favorite snow memory was in college, and it must have been my junior year because I remember being in my North Court room. My now-husband, my best friend Michelle, and I were in my dorm room doing something college-studentesque, like playing Super Mario 3 on my original Nintendo, or watching The Princess Bride, or studying (no, that’s probably what my roomie was doing….I loved that girl!).

We decided that it was much too cold and snowy to trudge all the way to the dining hall, so we commenced calling take-out places until we found a Chinese restaurant that was willing to deliver. Unfortunately, the delivery guy claimed he knew where my dorm was and then called us 42 times to try to figure out where we were. Michelle and I finally sent Adam outside into the wild to find the delivery man and fetch us our dinner. He eventually did discover the wondering delivery man, and we spread a blanket on the floor in the dorm room and had a Chinese-food picnic. It was awesome.

A close second: One year we were lucky enough to have our cousins Matthew, Andrew, and Brianne visiting when we were struck with snowfall. (Snow doesn’t happen often in Richmond, VA…it was always exciting.) Our house was in a cul-de-sac at the bottom of a giant hill. You could take a sled to the top of the street and sled all the way down almost to our house (probably 1/4 a mile). We have this lucky moment on video: my cousin Matthew, probably 6 or 7, sledding right into the ditch in front of the neighbor’s house. It seems he confused himself and said something like, “Where am I?” For some reason we thought this was hysterical. And so we kept asking him to do it again. Our neighborhood had the best sledding hills. I guess that’s why we didn’t get bored when we were off school for 3 weeks at a time because there was still a tiny little patch of snow somewhere in Chesterfield County.

My least favorite snow memory: One of those times we were out of school for 3 weeks, I was getting bored. I was home with my sister; I was in 8th grade, which would have made her in 5th grade. She called Mom at work to see if she could go outside without me, and got permission. So I was lazing around inside–still my favorite activity–when she came rushing in with our next-door neighbor, and was pouring blood from her arm. She and the neighbor had tried to pet the neighbor’s dog, Waldo, who was a giant black lab. Waldo attacked Ashley, somehow managing to rip her arm open but not her coat?? [Strangely, I experienced this phenomenon when I had my car accident. In almost the same spot as Ashley's scar, I now have a scar where glass dug a hole in my arm but did not rip my sweater at all.]

All I remember was panicking. According to my mom, I was a beacon of calm. I elevated her arm, wrapped it and put pressure on it, called Mom at work and got her out of a meeting, and called 911. I vividly remember that instead of waiting for the ambulance, though, we rode to the hospital in the back of our neighbor’s painting van. I always wondered if we would get in trouble for leaving without the ambulance, or maybe someone called and canceled it.

Anyway, Ashley was fine, but she does have a big old scar from the attack and had to go through the “does it have rabies” scare and everything. And I have a very severe fear of big, black dogs.

You Are My Home

Posted on December 10, 2007 by vanderbiltwife

I never cease being amazed at how little things can trigger such memories. I have a couple things I want to write about, but I have to get to bed some time tonight so I will stick with just one for now!

To make a long story short, I was going through our two tons of music on iTunes tonight, trying to clean up duplicates and such. I downloaded a whole lot of music freshman year on college when it wasn’t so illegal, or at least I didn’t know it was. And so I have some duplicates from this, most of which have the artist name in the title space…and so on. Anyway I just came upon “You Are My Home” from the Scarlet Pimpernel towards the end of the list. And seriously I started crying!

Freshman year I became friends with one of two people I truly consider heart-friends, someone who understands me almost completely. No matter how long Michelle and I go without talking, I still feel like we are connected in a way. Freshman year at UR, we spent copious amounts of time introducing each other to our favorite songs from musicals–and singing them together. I usually got to be the girl.

Our personal favorite to sing is “Light My Candle” from RENT; but this song from the Scarlet Pimpernel she introduced to me when we were both going through unrequited love situations. We had a joke that she and her boy would sing it at me and my boy’s wedding–and then she would sing “Bring on the Men” from the same musical at the reception. We thought this was hysterical to the point that she wrote it on a post-it note and stuck it on my computer, and I had to remember to take it off when said boy might come over!

Michelle and a friend from high school are probably the only people outside of my immediate family I have really been completely vulnerable with, and I guess that is why I treasure those friendships so much. The memories are so sweet…although sometimes, like now, they kind of hurt, too, because it still pains me I don’t have that kind of friend in Nashville. I don’t think it’s so much that I haven’t allowed myself to be vulnerable as it is that I just haven’t spent that kind of time with anyone except my husband since I graduated school. I think that’s how it is with a lot of people, but I know there are women who develop these sweet friendships post-college.

Love you, Shelley!