Curiouser, She Gets.

‘Curiouser and curiouser!’ cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English). – Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Life with a three-and-a-half-year-old is nothing if not completely unpredictable.

My friend Leslie told me recently that preschool girls have not developed whatever brain function tells them what is a big deal and what is not. Thus, everything is a TRAUMA OF EPIC PROPORTIONS. I don’t know if it’s technically true, but it sure seems that way, doesn’t it?

One minute, we’re having a meltdown about whether or not she can physically pick up six books and put them away. Five minutes later, she’s twirling in a princess outfit, sing-shouting, “See me dancing! Like a butterfly!”

I’m not sure exactly what I expected age 3 to be like, but here is what I didn’t expect: to hear “Mommy!” from the hallway yesterday while I was reading, just to look and see her naked except for socks, spreading her butt cheeks and asking me if her bottom was red.

Nope. Didn’t see that one coming.

Here is Libbie, at 3.5.

  • She goes through a new obsession every few days. Two weeks ago, Aladdin was her favorite movie in the universe. Last week, The Little Mermaid. Two days ago, I brought out My Dream Bed by Lauren Child, thinking she was finally old enough to play with all the fun pop-ups and tabs and putting the girl on a ribbon into her different beds. She’s asked to read it approximately 3,659 times since then and played with it incessantly.
  • Other favorite books: Yoko by Rosemary Wells, Princess Bedtime Stories, The Jesus Storybook Bible, anything involving Curious George, princesses, or Amelia Bedelia.
  • She loves to dance and put on dance shows. Especially to Bob and Larry Sing the 80s. (How many times can a woman listen to “Gourds Just Want to Have Fun” without her head exploding?)
  • She is going through a jealousy phase. Not just with David (although hello YES with him), but with anyone. If someone compliments her friend Amelia on her dress, Libbie will say, “Look at my shirt!” Anytime I ask David if he wants something, she loudly declares that she wants that exact same thing.
  • I love how she makes up words – mostly turning words she knows into verbs. She says “doos” instead of “duhs” (does) … and I don’t want to correct her because it’s cute. Yesterday she said the firemen have a “stander” on their truck they use to get to animals in trees. She also still calls Belle “Jingle,” and when/if she stops that, I will cry.

She climbs all over us, tries to lift David by his neck, incessantly asks for snacks and juice, picks out outfits that horrify me a little, and drives me insane … but she cracks me up, hugs without abandon, loves everyone, and is turning into a great little person.

We love you, Libbie-Loo!

Libbie, Three-and-a-Half.

Yesterday I was fairly certain I’d rather be the animal-feces cleaner at the zoo than have to keep parenting.

Every word out of Libbie’s mouth was meant to provoke me, from the moment she got up until at least after David went to bed.

So many weeks of pushing limits. So much discipline doled out: time-outs, toys and privileges taken away, even spankings. And yet she keeps pushing, shoving, her momma teetering over the edge of a complete breakdown.

It’s not the big things that are the worst (although slapping her daddy this weekend was brutal; and had it been me she’d hit, I might have gone ballistic). It’s each tiny defiance piling up, stack after stack on top of my bruised-momma-heart. It’s that she flat-out ignores what I say. It’s how she twists her brother’s hand until it hurts and then doesn’t understand why it gets her in trouble. It’s licking me on the face while I am trying to talk to her seriously.

I am worn thin and ready to try every technique I can think of to help: cutting out food coloring. Trying to create a more calming environment at home. Playing outside as much as possible. No more TV. More one-on-one time. {I do try to do all of these things, but maybe not enough.}

What I can’t give her is what she wants: my undivided attention 33 hours a day.

I fear I’ve let something go too far, but I don’t know what it is. I don’t want to spend more nights crying on the couch, feeling that I’ve failed her somehow. I want to not feel hypocritical for writing a devotional when it feels like my parenting and sometimes my sanity are hanging on by a thin thread.

I kind of want to scream. So instead I write, to the general public, my online shout of frustration.

{Why yes, it IS a good thing she’s cute. And hilarious. And loves books. It’s certainly not that we don’t have good moments … they just don’t seem to outnumber the bad right now.}

Nature vs. Nurture, Princesses, and Old Pictures That Make Me Want to Cry

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Halloween 2010

Libbie’s favorite Disney movie is Jingle and the Lion Beast.

What, you don’t know that one?

It all started last Christmas, right before David was born. My mom brought Libbie a copy of Beauty and the Beast, a Belle doll, and a few other related items. Libbie carried them around and after a while came back and asked, “Where my Jingle go?”

My mom, Mr. V, and I were all slightly befuddled. Her Jingle? HUH? One of us finally surmised that she meant the Belle doll. Being that it was the week before Christmas, Libbie had gotten well-acquainted with “Jingle Bells.” (So well, in fact, that she would sing “Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle ALL THE WAY” repeatedly for an hour. Just those words.) Thus her only reference for “Belle” was “Jingle Bells.”


Belle has been Jingle in our house ever since. We don’t try to correct her, because it’s too cute. Someday she’ll learn. If you ask Libbie what Jingle’s full name is, she will tell you: Jingle Belle.

I never thought I would have a princess-obsessed daughter. Libbie’s never seemed like much of a girly-girl to me; she will always dress herself in jeans and a t-shirt, and frilly dresses just don’t seem to suit her. She’s an active kid, a little bit of a wild child, a running, flailing, screaming girl.

But by and by she’s become attached to those Disney princesses just like every other little prima donna. Seeing Cinderella’s castle at Disney World was a highlight of her short life. Meeting – and HUGGING – “Jingle” has been talked about in our house for the last five months.

She has wall decals, a Vtech game, dolls, movies, and books. And I continue to wonder … how did this happen? But loving pink and taking care of babies seems as ingrained in her as her blood type. She was patting her babies and putting them down for naps before David even came along. She can turn any scrap of fabric into a blankie, any oblong thing into a bottle. Just like David can turn anything he can hold in his fist into a ball.

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Libbie’s favorite “toy,” made into a baby bottle

Yet, I am still glad she will play with trains and cars with the best of them. I will let David cook alongside me just like his sister does. While I acknowledge their natural differences, I will nurture all sides of them.

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Feeding Your Picky Toddler

Thanks to Plum Organics for sponsoring my post about tips for baby feeding magic. What if you let baby choose what’s for dinner? Check out their cute “Quest for Yum!” video and see what happens!
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Save me, Mommy, from the icky food!

 I have two babies. One is ten months and eats like a horse. One is three years old (as of yesterday! WAHHH!) and we’ve had a rough time getting her to eat since she was nine months old.

Libbie would eat anything up until she was nine months. Then, all of a sudden, it was POOF! She hated everything except bananas, bread, and cheese. (And if we’re being honest, that’s nothing but a prescription for chronic constipation.)

Even then, she would still eat almost anything if it were pureed. So every now and then I would pop out the old baby food and make sure she was getting SOME nutrients. I felt guilty about it then.

But … sometimes I still do the same thing to her now. At 3! She thinks those slurpable pouches of baby food are magical for some reason. I think her main issue with fruits and veggies is texture. So if she will happily drink down baby food puree or a yogurt smoothie, I will let her.

Like I said, David will eat basically anything, but I’ve relied heavily on the little baby food pouches for him, too. We are on-the-go so much between church, taking Libbie to school, and just running errands that being able to throw something in his bag is wonderful. The pouches require no spoon, no bowl: just put that thing is his mouth and he will slurp it right down!

The other methods that have worked with Libbie are your age-old techniques: persistence and hiding it.

We serve her what we eat for dinner. We try to make sure there is something she will eat, but we don’t cater to toddler tastebuds at dinnertime. If she doesn’t eat it, she doesn’t get anything else that night. We hear that method works with most kids. Libbie has yet, in over two years of doing this, eaten a pea or piece of broccoli voluntarily. But … we hope.


 So yes, I have stooped to hiding things in other foods. Breads are an excellent place to start. You can puree many things and hide them in muffins or pancakes. Smoothies have started to work for Libbie as well, as she doesn’t dislike the taste of fruits, just the peels and textures, I think. As long as she’s not looking, I can throw some spinach in those smoothies, too!

Grated carrot can go in pasta or pizza sauces. Grated summer squashes work well in there, too, as well as in baked goods.

Making your own jam is a good way to work around this, too. Libbie’s been eating homemade mulberry jam on her PBJs this fall, and homemade jellies or jams are great to stir into yogurt or thin out for a fruity ice-cream topping.  

And, if all else fails, there’s always gummy vitamins.

Whatever you do, don’t give up! Catering to your kids’ desire for ONLY chicken nuggets and french fries will simply create a monster. There ARE ways to get your children to eat healthy that satisfy both your terms and theirs.

(But I have to confess … I pray that my baby, David, will just eat everything. Because I’m not sure I can endure this battle with another kid.)

Do you use tips and tricks to get your babies and toddlers to eat healthier?


I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. To learn more about Plum Organics, visit their Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/PlumOrganics.

All opinions are mine and are not influenced by sponsors. 

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Throwing a Shoebox Packing Party

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For years I’ve enjoyed packing shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child. Do you know about this wonderful ministry? Here in the States we fill shoeboxes with toys, toiletries, clothes, crafts, and other fun things children might need. Samaritan’s Purse ships these boxes around the globe to children in orphanages and very poor communities, where they probably won’t receive any other Christmas gift.

When I taught Girls in Action at our church in Nashville, we spent several Wednesday nights effectively having an Operation Christmas Child shoebox-packing party, just spread out over time. We would fill in the fun sheets Samaritan’s Purse provides with information about the children and some of their favorite things. We would wrap shoeboxes in Christmas paper. We would fill our boxes together and take them down to the altar of the church. It was an awesome time to see kids doing ministry together.

Libbie’s third birthday is this Thursday, October 27. I kept thinking, and thinking, and thinking about what I wanted to do for her. I swore last year was her big hoopla while she was still an only child, and I didn’t want to do something that big again. (And yes, to some of you it might seem like a small soiree, but I get stressed out over things being perfect.)

We were also in the midst of moving into our new apartment, which is not tiny but very difficult to get people to on the campus where we live. Between that and juggling two little kids all the time I just could not get up the oomph to plan a party for her. And my mind kept coming back to the fact that she just has SO MANY TOYS. The last thing the child needs is more toys.

Like a lightning bolt, it struck me that what I wanted to do was send toys to kids who didn’t have overflowing shelves like we do. So we had a Shoebox Packing Party/Birthday Party!

Here are our tips and plans, if you’d like to plan something similar.

1. Ask families to bring items to go in shoeboxes in lieu of gifts. (If your church does not provide the standard shoeboxes from Samaritan’s Purse, you should ask each family to bring a shoebox, too.)

2. Make the party “open.” Since this is a ministry, we wanted as many kids to come as wanted to! We actually only had 10 kids, but that was about what I expected. It was perfect for the space we had. But I wanted to make sure people felt comfortable bringing friends if they wanted to. We advertised it to our whole preschool department at church.

3. Buy ahead. Before I even knew we were having our party, I started buying items on clearance for shoeboxes this year. Target and Office Depot had some great close-outs on school supplies at the end of September. College items were also clearanced around that time. Last week, I ordered a bunch of stuff for up to 90% off online from Gymboree, with their fall clearance plus a coupon. Score! Keep your eyes peeled for awesome deals throughout the year.

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4. Plan food! Everyone’s favorite part, right? I kept it simple with drinks, pizza, and cake. We waited until we saw how many people were there, and then Mr. V went and got hot-and-ready $5 pizzas at Little Ceasar’s. This cake was the one “indulgence” I allowed my crazy-Jessie-party-planner self. It is Glorious Treats’ Pink Ombre Cake. I used her recipe for Perfect Vanilla Cupcakes and Vanilla Buttercream with a touch of cream cheese. It didn’t turn out quite as perfect as hers, but it tasted INCREDIBLE and was gorgeous. (Especially thanks to my sister’s skill with a pastry bag!) (See below for my sample menu.)

On Party Day

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5. Set up tables. Divide your items into categories, and as people arrive have them sort their items onto the tables as well. Our categories were: clothes and accessories, girls, boys and unisex, toiletries, school supplies, and candy.

6. Personalize your boxes. I ordered the (free) OCC Party Pack from Samaritan’s Purse, and it came with a bunch of the form-letter-things for the kids to fill out. It lets them put their name, age, where they live, some of their favorites, and draw some pictures. It’s a cute way to make the box a little more personal for the recipient.

7. Fill up the boxes. We led each family to pick a gender/age for their box, check the appropriate box on the tag, tape the tag to the box, and then go down the line and pick items for their boxes. Some families did two, and after the kids were bored moms and dads stepped in to do the rest. We ended up with 16 boxes, which was great!

Try to make sure your boxes are a good assortment of each category of goods as well as being age-appropriate. If you have leftover items you can always try to stuff them in the packed boxes, or make an additional box later.

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Adorable baby not included with this free party package!

8. Christmas card time! I bought bright paper, glitter foam stickers, Christmas stickers, and crayons at the Dollar General and let the kids go wild. With pre-schoolers, the cards were mostly a bunch of stickers randomly placed on the paper, but who cares? Again, it’s personal and fun.

9. Bon appetit, it’s time to eat. Like I said, we kept it simple. Libbie got to blow out her candles (well, I did it for her as she was too shy to do it in public) and the kiddos were happy with the fare. If you want to do something different, you could serve foods from countries around the world: enchilada puffs, layered Greek dip, sesame-crusted chicken strips, roasted honey-cinnamon chickpeas, and some fun cupcakes might make an interesting and delicious menu.

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10. Playtime! You could create a game (how many countries of the world can you name? pin the OCC logo on the box?) or just let the kids run around in a yard or open space. We held our party in our church’s gym area, so the kids went to town playing with balls and running around.

This lovely OCC Packing Party surely worked for me! And yes, it’s also a top 10 list.

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Two Babies

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Credit: Portrait Innovations

I remember watching Libbie, sitting in the primary-color bouncy seat, as she grasped a toy. I grinned from ear-to-ear. My mom was there, a rare treat for both of us, and we sat and stared at my months-old princess simply because her fingers were wrapped around a piece of pink plastic.

“Is everything as exciting with your second child?” I asked her. “Do you still get excited about the little things?”

I don’t remember her answer, but now I know.

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Credit: Portrait Innovations

With babies are close together in age as mine are, you don’t always have time to notice those first tiny things. I might be elated to find that David was grasping, or self-feeding, or cutting another tooth … if I weren’t putting Libbie in time-out for pulling him around on the carpet by his arms or calming her as she screams that he’s stolen her bowl of cereal yet again.

I was upset that he started dragging himself around on the floor as soon as he learned to sit up on his own; gone were the dreams that he could play by himself for a few minutes. Am I the only mother to bemoan the fact that her child can crawl? Out comes the vacuuming and securing and plastic plug-things and hoping that he just won’t hit his head falling this time.

So maybe the answer is no, it’s not as exciting with the second little one. But here is what I find different.

I cling to his little body, sucking in deep breaths of baby shampoo and snuggling an angel-soft cheek. “Don’t grow up!” I cry, even though of course I don’t mean it. What choice do we have but desire their growth … yet at the same time I find myself hanging on desperately to the baby-ness of him in a way I never knew with his sister.

They can tell you it goes by so fast until it comes out of your ears and you’ll never know until you get there. Until your tiny baby is almost three and sassy and hilarious and more of a girl than a toddler. When you set the two babies side by side and ask yourself, “How on earth did she go from this to that so quickly?”

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That’s why I kiss his cheek when he’s nursing. Why I rub his sweet head and tickle tiny feet and take mental photographs of his precious belly button.

Someday I’ll catch a whiff of Aveeno shampoo, or see a baby spit up on his mother’s shirt and think, “How? How is it already gone?” 

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Libbie, 35 Months

I watch her as she lays face down, staring as the water goes down the drain, sucking up every last drop of bathtime. For a child who used to scream every bath because she hates water in her face, she adores the bath ritual. Today, Strawberry Shortcake and a lobster played a rousing game of Ring Around the Rosy, and I discovered Libbie’s favorite colors of the day were “gray, and orange, and yellow, and green.” Yesterday they were pink, purple, orange, and red.

typical Libbie face

Her ringlets are wet as we pick a bedtime book. I always pause when she chooses something I consider babyish; I enjoy the bedtime story ritual, and That’s Not My Monkey just doesn’t take very long to read. But it’s her choice to make, and I read what she wants.

One day I asked her if we could have a talk. She sat on her bed, and I sat on the floor, and we discussed something. Probably how she should be gentle with David, or obey Mommy and Daddy—the two things we repeat often. Since then, she wants to “have a talk” often. About what, she doesn’t know. But she gets that it’s a big-girl thing to do.

eating ice cream at Jason's Deli (mmmm!)

We’ve had a hard week. For some reason she seems to have reverted to her new-baby jealousy. She has not obeyed one single request in three or four days. If I ask her to go to her room, she screams and falls to the floor. If I pick her up, she hits or kicks. My days seem to be spent trying to keep my own anger in check and not fight back. Sometimes I succeed.

I try to focus on the rights: coloring a banner for the school’s big rivalry football game; laying in bed discussing what an uncle is; when she asks sweetly, “Mommy, will you read me the Bible?” The joy of picking out a few library books. A mini Mommy-date that consists of going to the grocery store and getting milk, holding hands.

Crazy Toddler

She is wild, and funny, and infuriating, and beautiful, and selfish, and crazy, and loving, and huggable. And she’s almost 3. Each day she seems more like a child and less like a toddler. But she still can’t pronounce Ls.

I’m a mess of a mother, eking my way through and learning poorly as I go.

I think if we make it to 4, she’ll be a really awesome little kid.

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Quick and Easy Potty Training? It Worked for Us!

We are exactly six and a half days into our potty-training career. Libbie hasn’t had an accident since day 4. Now before you say anything:

  • Yes, I know she is not done with accidents forever.
  • Six days? I know I am not an expert.
  • Sadly, we’re experienced major regression in the area of sleep due to the potty success. 
  • But seriously. NO MORE DIAPERS!
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We are so very proud of our big girl, especially since on the afternoon of day 1, this is what I was Tweeting:

Libbie really is insanely stubborn, but I knew she was showing all the signs of readiness. She could go hours without having a wet diaper. She knew when she was going. She didn’t like the way the diaper was rubbing her.

Encouraged by a friend who recently had a very successful potty-training run using the e-book at 3daypottytraining.com, I took some tips from her and a lot of advice from Little Llamas’ Potty Training 101. (Much thanks to Amanda for sending me the link to Little Llamas!)

Here’s what we did, and I hope you’ll have the courage to take the potty-training plunge!

1. Wait. As Little Llamas puts it, wait for readiness (but not necessarily interest). Up until this point, our method had been to put Libbie in undies and see if she would go to the potty. She had gone a few times, but entirely on accident. Then we’d get frustrated and stop trying.

We decided to wait until she was good and ready—and until we got back from Disney World! Secretly, I hoped she would just get up one day and decide she wanted to potty. She really is that kind of child. But it didn’t happen. At 32 months, it was high time to undergo the challenge and she was mentally and physically prepared.

2. Reward. My best friend and I took Libbie to the store to pick out a reward. You want something that has multiple pieces (a set of cars, a Lego set, baby doll accessories, etc). We gave Libbie several choices and let her pick one. Libbie chose a play purse set that has necklaces, bracelets, a perfume bottle, a phone, and a lipstick. (Similar to this adorable cupcake one!)

Libbie was also allowed to choose a salty snack, a kind of candy, new panties, and stickers.

We set up a sticker chart. For every time she got any pee in the potty, she got one sticker. (#2 also earned a sticker as well as a piece of candy.) (It’s really weird to write a post about poop and pee.) For every 10 stickers, she got one piece of the reward item.

Dora the Explorer Potty Training Chart & Stickers 

Often we reminded her, “Let’s get another sticker so you can get your phone! Only two more stickers to go!”

The first day, I would occasionally give her small rewards for being dry—things like an M&M or a baby puff (something she loves but is supposed to be just for baby brother!). Mr. V and I instituted something we think we should copyright, the Dry Five. We often asked if she was dry; and, if so, she got high fives from everyone present, including baby brother. Dry Fives all around!

3. Timing. For three days, I set the microwave timer to go off every 20 minutes. When it beeped, she had to try to go potty. Occasionally she was resistant, but we just kept putting her there. (She did wear a Pull-Up for nap and nighttime.)

4. Push Liquids. I know this is not what everyone wants to do, but it’s the path we took for the first two days. Feed salty snacks so that your child is thirsty. Let him/her drink a favorite drink. A lot of it! 

5. Accidents. Every time she wet her panties, we expressed disappointment. We did not try to shame her or discipline her, just said, “It makes Mommy sad when your panties are wet. You need to let your pee-pee in the potty.”

BABYBJÖRN Smart Potty - Green 

6. The toilet-paper method. By the end of day 1, I was SUPER frustrated, because Libbie would sit on the potty, stand up, and almost immediately have an accident nearby. She hadn’t gotten one drop of pee in the potty.

I decided to try a new trick: placing a piece of toilet paper in the potty. That way, I could tell if it were even the teensiest bit wet. Quickly, Libbie caught on and squeezed a few drops onto the toilet paper. We made a HUGE deal about it since it was her first success and she almost immediately went several more times in the potty. Woohoo!

7. Commitment. Libbie did not leave the house except for brief stints in our backyard for 4 days. I left briefly one day to run to the post office, but Mr. V was in charge. Mr. V was also able to handle most of the David duties so I could concentrate efforts on Libbie. We were all a little stir-crazy, but it was necessary.

You can’t turn back, either. We started Day 1 by saying, “NO MORE DIAPERS.” We chose a baby friend to give them away to. Be strong. As I said, for us Day 1 was awful and I wanted to retreat back to the changing table. But as we progressed the payoff was totally worth the pain.

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I don’t want to write a book, so I’ll stop there, although I feel like I should add 100 more things! Again, I HIGHLY suggest you read Potty Training 101 at Little Llamas. I used a lot of her wonderful tips.

These are some books we had been reading for months as well that helped Libbie get some of the potty-training concepts:

I also recommend Gerber training pants, which are panties with extra padding in the middle; that way, if your child has an accident, the urine doesn’t get everywhere.

What are your potty-training tips?

Linked up with Works for Me Wednesday and Things I Love Thursday (because I LOVE not having two kids in diapers!!!).
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Like a Gardening Toddler

It’s a hot afternoon in June, and Libbie and I are on the back deck. My poor basil plant is withering, the one thing in our yard I claim to care about – since it provides the crop for our Summer Bow-Ties, fresh pesto, gorgeous pizza – and it’s nearly dead. My dependence on the rain to water it is not a smart choice in the drought we’ve had.

I hand Libbie her little yellow spray bottle and ask her to water my plant. I will dump some more water on it later, of course, but her helpfulness needs an outlet that does not include stirring hot pots on the stove or trying to help her brother sit up.

She gives it a good spray and then keeps on watering the friends around it: the bushes, the grass, and the weeds that grow around the weathered deck.

Beautiful, but a prodigious weed

She does not discriminate, joyfully doling out to each one, weed or treasured food-bearing plant, its share of needed water. And I think this – this is the faith of a child. This is what Jesus meant.

Libbie does not know to differentiate between people, plants, colors. She doesn’t know that one plant is helpful and one plant is a nuisance to the garden. She sees them like I believe Jesus sees people: each one as His favorite. Each one important to Him. Each one beloved, in need of some tender nurture.

And often, I think He gives us children to learn some of these simple lessons, the truths we’ve forgotten since we, age two-and-a-half, watered our own weeds.

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