Five Minute Friday: Friendship

Posted on April 26, 2013 by vanderbiltwife

I’ve cried a lot of tears over Chattanooga. Enough that my husband has asked me periodically if I wanted him to try to find a job back in Nashville. I think he’s mostly kidding or at least expects me to say no – although I don’t doubt he would try if I truly wanted to go back.

But my heart hurts for friends. I have lists of excuses. Everyone else here has their whole extended family. Everyone else grew up here. Obviously they don’t need me. They don’t need new friends.

But deep down I always feel like it’s just me. That I’m not good enough.

It took me a lot of years to feel like I had true friends in Nashville, and I miss them. I miss the camaraderie and Chili’s girl’s night out and sharing secrets and hopes and baby wishes and babies formed and born. I miss those new-bride friends, all of us unsure in our roles and making our way in life and marriage.

Finally – FINALLY – the last few weeks I feel like I’m starting to find my place here in this Scenic City. I’ve made a very good friend, one who is broken like me and not scared to admit it, who also happens to have a 4-year-old daughter whom Libbie loves.

I’m connecting more with people – a sweet blogging friend who’s become a close, real friend; some women who also live on this crazy campus. I’m realizing maybe the closest friends won’t be found where I expected to uncover them.

My soul thirsts for friendship and it’s starting to not be quite so parched. I’m refreshed.

STOP.

This week, Lisa-Jo asked for five minutes of writing on “friend” in honor of the (in)courage in real life meet-ups taking place this weekend. I’m excited to go to our local meet-up at Robin‘s house tomorrow!

Pizza Party and Pumpkin Painting with #flatoutpizza

Posted on October 18, 2012 by vanderbiltwife

Earlier this week I was excited to throw a pizza party on our back patio. We live in a dorm on a high-school campus; but right behind our apartment is this lovely brick patio. And check out the view!

So we gathered a bunch of our on-campus friends and tried out the new Flatout Bread Thin Crust Flatbreads. They come in three yummy varieties: Spicy Italian, Rustic White, and Heritage Wheat.

Apparently the Spicy Italian is no joke. I was warned it really was quite spicy. I stayed far away from it, but my friends gobbled it up!

To make pizzas, you prebake the flatbreads for 3-4 minutes. Then add toppings and bake for another 4-5 minutes or so.

So as party prep, I prebaked. Even with it being an hour until they went in the oven, the flatbreads were still just right when they came out! Nice and crispy. I provided a whole bunch of cheeses, sauces, and toppings and let everyone go to town. (That’s my homemade pizza sauce. And that pesto, while not quite as good as homemade, was really excellent!)

I thought those were jalapenos. They weren’t. I think they were serrano chiles. I about killed my husband with them. Oops.

Everyone agreed that while the flatbreads made for a different pizza experience, you could really taste the flavor of the toppings. Everything I set out was devoured, so I think that makes for a good party! Here are our creations.

Mother and daughter! Daughter had just cheese. Mom had mozzarella, herb feta, olives, tomatoes, and mushrooms. The kind of thing we never get to eat at home because of the kids!

My husband’s on top: mozzarella, feta, pepperoni, tomatoes, chili peppers. Friend’s on bottom: fresh mozzarella, mushrooms, and pineapple. An exotic combo!

I thought this was cute. A husband and wife picked almost exactly the same things without knowing. Pesto, fresh and shredded mozzarella, pepperoni, and tomatoes. His just had mushrooms.

My beautiful creation: pesto with fresh mozzarella, herb feta, and a little bit of olives on Harvest Wheat. Perfect!

I was too busy eating to take pictures of Round 2, but I think the boys went to town on the BBQ sauce and everything else. Almost everything was gone by clean-up time!

My theme was Halloween Party, so I added a few seasonal touches.

We also let the kids do pumpkin painting. I had intended for them to make really adorable Tiger pumpkins with felt ears and pipe-cleaner whiskers. But once they got ahold of the paintbrushes they just went to town. Oh well.

(Libbie did start by TRYING to paint stripes on her pumpkin!)

We really had a blast and everyone loved the pizza. Stay tuned – next week you’ll have a chance to win your own #flatoutpizza prize pack and a $50 gift card to Wal-Mart so you can have your own party!

Thank you to theMotherhood, Flatout, and Wal-Mart for sponsoring our party. While this is a sponsored post, all opinions are my own.

Vacation and a Wedding

Posted on July 26, 2012 by vanderbiltwife

Despite the crazy circumstances leading up to our vacation/wedding trip to the Outer Banks, I think I can file it away in my memory as pretty fabulous.

I got to see my little ones see the ocean for the first time, to dip their toes in the water and dig up sand with their hands and shovels. Libbie got great kicks out of waiting by the water until the wave rolled in and then scurrying away from it up the beach. Her leg muscles are obviously in much better shape than mine!

I always enjoy seeing my parents and my sister love on the kiddos. The kids love it, too! They adore Nana, Poppy, and “Ashy-Roo.”

I was amazed at how much Libbie loved exploring the historical Roanoke Island site we went to. I wasn’t sure I would be able to drag her off the ship!

And to top it off, I got to be in the wedding of my very best friend, my soul sister, and get reacquainted with friends from college. We’ve vowed to not let it be so long between visits the next time!

Somehow, I have no pictures of me in my bridesmaid’s dress! I thought it was quite pretty and I loved my hair and make-up.

This week we’ve been in recovery mode, I think, from all the travel and moving. I am flat-out exhausted. As soon as I pull this apartment into shape, though, I’ll share pictures – especially of Libbie’s precious pink butterfly room.

New-City Friendships

Posted on April 27, 2012 by vanderbiltwife

Because it seems that five minutes is all I’ve had this week, despite my mom being there for most of it … I’m joining in with Five Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama this week and writing on COMMUNITY.

My sweet Nashville friend Amelia – and our baby boys in utero

START.

It took me at least three years to feel any sense of true community in Nashville. To make some friends whom I could call at a minute’s notice. When I found out we were moving to Chattanooga, I couldn’t help but feel sick to my stomach. Would I ever make friends again? When it took so long in this, my first post-college experience?

[Just a side note to say no, my kids cannot leave me to write for even 5 minutes today. Or 5 seconds. Libbie is sitting on my feet.]

I’ve made scattered acquaintances here and there in Chattanooga. Church friends, MOPS friends, Moms Club, and – strangely? or not? – blog friends.

It’s amazing, in this life called blogging, that we feel more connected to women across a computer screen than we do to people in “real life” sometimes. Sara came over last week with her 4-year-old and baby, and we talked for hours. Tiffany has become probably my best friend here in this city, foreign to us both. Someone to share 3-year-old perils, pregnancy woes, outing ideas.

When Tiffany was put on bed rest a few weeks ago, she sent me an email and asked if I could bring her some dinners. She knew her limits and her husband’s. As feeding people is my spiritual gift, I of course said yes.

And then, reflecting, thought … that is friendship. And I am glad about it.

STOP.

Worth the Living

Posted on April 11, 2012 by vanderbiltwife

On Sunday, Easter Sunday, we sang “Because He Lives.” And the line I can’t delete from my brain is, “Life is worth the living just because He lives.”

Why wasn’t it enough?

For one of our friends, the kindest person I’ve met, the one whom every girl was ready to marry just weeks into the freshman year of college … why wasn’t it enough anymore?

Zest for life shadowed by depression and circumstances. How could someone who loved life and others so much become so isolated? So desperate that life simply wasn’t worth the living anymore?

I don’t know.

I do know the scary edge of depression and the feelings of solitude. I know Paxil and Zoloft and they have been my friends. I know the desire to hide under my covers and sleep it all away. I know screaming and crying and wanting but not wanting to be alone. I know the what-if moments.

It’s hell to find out someone you love but haven’t talked to in years has taken their own life. To wonder what could have made it that bad and not know, have no inkling. To think, if I had called, if I had commented, if I had known …

It’s not about me and it’s too late for thinking. Only time for sorrow and flowers and tears for a ripped-apart family.

Maybe it’s not too late for one of your friends, though. Call somebody you love and say hi. It’s better to risk embarrassment at how long it’s been then to look back and have to wonder.

In loving memory of Michael James Clements, 1981-2012.

Blissdom in Pictures and Snippets

Posted on March 1, 2012 by vanderbiltwife

I partied and laughed and roomed and cuddled and ate with my beautiful #sisterchicks. (Although we MADLY missed our Atlanta contingent.)

I cuddled with this adorable guy (idreamofclean‘s 10-week-old) A LOT! As in “Gimme your baby and go have fun!” Isn’t he crazy cute?

I brainstormed. I talked about writing.

I roomed with Mary again, and also with Dawn Camp and QuatroMama.

I got to hear phenomenal speakers: Simple Mom, Michael Hyatt, Jon Acuff, Jeff Goins.

I was looking for a mini-vacation, and got that and more. I feel like my writing had been invigorated, my mind is renewed, I want to be a better parent and wife, and I am going to work on that life plan Michael Hyatt talked about.

Thanks, Blissdom!

Pictures were taken by: Dawn Camp, Domestic Chicky, Giving Up on Perfect, Heather Durdil, and Nancy Doud. Click on the individual pictures for sources.

Cranberry-Citrus Cookies and Care Packages

Posted on September 1, 2011 by vanderbiltwife

A while back, we did a post on ParentLife Online about mailing care packages overseas to active military troops. It’s one of those things I’ve meant to do for a long time and just never have. The next time I was at the post office, I went ahead and got a flat-rate box and promised myself I WAS going to follow through on something this time!

My thoughts went to a new friend of mine whose husband has been overseas the whole time I’ve known her – and most of her son’s life. Her baby is two days younger than David, and I can’t imagine spending most of that first year on my own. No help with night wakings. No “please take the baby so I can take a 10-minute bath.” It’s all her.

I never hear her complain, though, and she has been nothing but an encouragement to me as our parenting styles are similar. I wanted to bless her family and show our thanks by sending her husband a package. My friend insisted it go to his whole unit, since they don’t all get packages. She is so kind!

I searched the Internet for cookies that would hold up to being mailed overseas during the dead of summer. No chocolate. Nothing soft. I finally found these Cranberry Cookies and modified them slightly. They are chewy, citrusy, and delightful; and from what I heard, the unit in Iraq thought they were pretty darn good, too!

Cranberry-Citrus Cookies and Care Packages

Yield: about 6 dozen cookies

Cranberry-Citrus Cookies and Care Packages

Adapted from Blisstree.com

Ingredients

1/2 c. butter, softened
1 c. granulated sugar
3/4 c. brown sugar, packed
1/4 c. milk
2 T lemon juice
1 T orange zest (dried or fresh)
1 large egg
3 c. AP or white whole wheat flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1 c. chopped pecans
1 to 1-1/2 c. dried cranberries (sweetened is fine, and you can sub any dried fruit you like, although I don’t think raisins would work very well)

Instructions

Preheat oven to 375 F. Cream butter and sugars with an electric mixer until fluffy and combined. On low speed, mix in lemon juice, orange zest, and egg.

Stir in flour, baking powder, salt, and baking soda. Add pecans and cranberries and fold to combine well.

Drop by tablespoons onto greased cookie sheets. Bake 10-12 minutes, until edges are brown. Let sit on cookie sheet for 2 minutes, then transfer to wire cooling racks.

To package for shipping, put cookies in gallon plastic bags. Pop popcorn and cool; then put it in additional plastic bags. Pad the bag of cookies with the bags of popcorn inside a box. Add letters, cards (kid-decorated are fun!), magazines, or toiletries items. Send off!

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Added to Foodie Fridays at Designs by Gollum, Ingredient Spotlight: Citrus, and Sweet Tooth Friday at Alli-N-Son.

I recommend:

Pajamas for Kelly: THANK YOU!!!

Posted on May 30, 2011 by vanderbiltwife

Y’all, I have been totally BLOWN AWAY by the response of Pajamas for Kelly! I literally wept seeing all the donations flow in on Friday. I am constantly astonished what we are able to do as bloggers when we work together. It makes all the work totally worth it!!

We received over 70 donations totaling more than $450!!!!!!!! Plus donations from a few sweet Etsy sellers.

Here is what Kelly will receive:

5-6 pairs of nice, comfy pajamas
A gift card of at least $125 to Whole Foods
tickets for Simon and one adult to the Baltimore Aquarium, the Maryland Zoo, and the Port Discovery Children’s Museum
$100 to Twiggie Makes
$15 to Moxie Mandie
$20 to 4 Crazy Ladies / Name That Thing

Thank you so much for making this happen. And please be in prayer for Kelly and her family as they travel to Baltimore this week.

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Why I Want You to Help a Fellow Mommy Blogger

Posted on May 27, 2011 by vanderbiltwife

I’d like to introduce you to a friend of mine, Kelly. She blogs at miskellany. Many of you may know what a small world blogging creates. Kelly and I went to high school together in Richmond, Virginia. Now she lives in Mississippi and I live in Tennessee. We haven’t seen each other since high school graduation, but we keep in touch … because we reconnected through our blogs.

A few weeks ago, Kelly was your everyday mommy blogger: a frugal, vegetarian, natural and green living, PhD student, living in Mississippi with her husband and almost two-year-old son, Simon. When her vision started blurring, Kelly thought she needed some more sleep and less time at the library staring at a computer screen.

As her vision worsened, however, Kelly underwent medical tests and found out she has a rare type of brain tumor sitting on her optic nerve. She will travel to Johns Hopkins next week for consultation and surgery. In the best case scenario, Kelly will be in the hospital for five days and recovering nearby for two weeks. If the surgery is less successful, Kelly will lose her eyesight. She would need to stay in Baltimore at least a month to go to rehab and learn to live as a blind woman.

Kelly is 29 years old and has a toddler. She could be me. I can’t even imagine what she is going through right now.

The Plan

A group of us want to help Kelly have the most comfortable hospital stay and recovery possible. We’re asking if you would consider donating just $3 by clicking on the “donate” button. The money will be used to fulfill Kelly’s wish of having some wonderful, new, comfy pajamas for her time in Baltimore. We’re hoping to have enough to throw in a gift card to Trader Joe’s, so her husband can buy some prepared foods for their family that fit with their dietary preferences.

Will you help by pitching in $3? We’ll let you know on Monday how much has been raised!

I also wanted to gather a few sellers of homemade items who would donate store credit to Kelly. She is a huge fan of Etsy and homemade and upcycled items. I want to thank Moxie Mandie and Candace from Twiggie Makes for donating to that project. If you sell handmade items and would like to donate store credit, you can e-mail me: jessie at vanderbiltwife dot com.

________

Want to join in the “Why I” fun? Add your link here. The only rules are that your post title must start with “Why I” and you must link back to Vanderbilt Wife by link or by the button.

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Remarkable Faith: A Funeral

Posted on March 25, 2011 by vanderbiltwife

I was just shy of 18 when one of my friends died in a car accident.

I’d been to very few funerals up to that point: a great-grandfather when I was very small; my best friend’s mother when I was 12.

I remember the day of her funeral vividly, in slow-motion. Setting up. Hearing the song “Tears in Heaven” practiced what seemed like a hundred times. Crying so much someone from the family section handed me tissues. The urn. The multitude of faces, people she had touched in one way or another.

I felt broken, sitting there, staring at the urn, the senior picture, the mother who never expected to bury a daughter.

My faith was a little broken at that point, too. That summer after my senior year may be the low point of my faith, despite the fact that I was entering college as a Virginia Baptist Scholar. God felt far. Freedom felt close as a new 18-year-old with a job, a boyfriend, independence looming.

God slowly worked at my heart as I entered college, and I discovered a new passion for service. It was nearly two years after the funeral that I was doing a Disciple Now weekend, trying to lead and counsel a group of middle-school girls. (Have I mentioned how much middle-schoolers scare me?) I knew the church felt familiar, but it wasn’t until I stepped into the sanctuary for our closing service that it hit me.

This was the church where we had my friend’s funeral.

I panicked and ran out. My then-boyfriend, Mr. V, came with me to the playground of the church as I cried, unable to fathom reentering the holy place, a sanctuary’s carpet that held my tears.

As he sat there with me and tried to make me smile by telling me his favorite “math love poem,” I think I realized that he was the one. Broken by death, healed by love.

But I still have a very violent reaction to “Tears in Heaven.”

Thanks, Mary, for the inspiration to write about a funeral that affected my faith. This is part of her Remarkable Faith series at Giving Up on Perfect.

I’m sharing my Sunday Best at Feels Like Home.

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