Cloudy October

Cloud over hills, Scottish borders, 2010
source: S John Davey

I’m not sure I’ll ever become accustomed to
being so close to the clouds.

I drive through them, can reach up and touch them if
I just stretch my fingers far enough.

More than ten years ago,
I saw the black like ink on the ground, moving,
and I thought it was some kind of plague.
I had never been close enough to the clouds
to see their shadows, shifting on the wheat-grass.
Montana was so wide,
the amber fields of grain.
(But not purple mountains majesty, she said. Those were back in the Virginia homeland.)

The clouds have been so thick, so dense
I’ve rarely seen the moon for weeks.
I miss its guidance but know when it does show itself,
my heart will sing.

We’re still scraping our ways out of the shadow,
waiting for the sky to clear,
poring over Scripture and longing
for the still, small voice.

When we can see over the cloud cover and straight to the eye of the moon.

—-
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For Libby

I don’t want to be a grown-up
when it means having to grow up,
to do things like bury grandparents,
sort four people’s laundry,
feel pain over a credit score.

I thought I’d feel grown-up
when I was married
when I had a baby
when I had two.

Inching near thirty, I wonder
Do you ever feel grown up?
I wish that I could ask her
if, at 80, laying on her death-bed
did she feel like a grown woman?

Or still like the young auburn girl
who swung do-si-do
married a dashing veteran
raised babies with chicken-on-the-bone.

I hate myself for not asking
for more of the story,
and I hate myself for fearing
that she wouldn’t remember.

—-
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Sunday Afternoons Make Me Dreamy

I love springtime tulips

And the sights and smells of fall.

I love pumpkins and petunias

And a smile from someone small.

I love quiet Sunday afternoons,

when everyone is sleeping.

I love majestic waterfalls

And a caterpillar creeping.

I love the smells of fresh-cut grass

and Aveeno baby shampoo.

I love the hum of the dishes washing

and hugs from an old friend, too.

Bad Poetry 101, Part Two

Much to your dismay…more of my incredibly bad college poetry! I know I have more somewhere…I thought it was in this book that I found, but this one only had two poems in it. So here is the second, perhaps written on the same day as this one.

And that which I actually desired
to steal your heart with words
is embedded in my imagination–
the place in my mind that I can’t reach
even with an iced-tea spoon.
that which I thought I could express
my heart, my smile, the tingle that reaches my toes
can’t be meshed together
in some masterpiece to be later analyzed in English class
any words that did appear
would crush themselves into
meaninglessness, leaving only the simple things:
your fingers, laced in mine
your back, curled, as you sleep soundlessly,
the skip of my heart as I notice your face across the green.

Much to your dismay, my bad poetry

In the vein of my blogging heroes, Pioneer Woman and Evie, I thought I would share some bad poetry with you. In the olden days of high school and college, I fancied myself a poet. Now I’ve moved onto the greener pastures of fiction, creative nonfiction, and its close cousin, blogging.

So without further adieu, here you go.
P.S. I also studied Chinese and French in high school, and Chinese in college, so forgive my pretentious foreign phrase-additions.
P.P.S. Wow, I didn’t realize just HOW bad this was until I read it again!!

2-13-02
don’t sing me the blue night song
where fingers snaps in 3/4 time
where the violin romances its strings
where the navy aura surrounds
gei wo hui da
give me an answer as i climb this tree
forget the yes-no-do nots
of your aproned mother
stop her voice with a porcelain rag
and give me truth
yes, i’m a foreign phrase whore
but i’ll stop selling myself
to the land of Chinese caresses
if you will change the song
and save me from the
pine pricks of this tree.

Perhaps My Only Attempt at Poetry in the Last Three Years

I stand amazed in the Presence…

He is that flame, that match, that spark
To keep me from residing in the dark;
To make the fire that God deems holy–
Today, in this world, an anomaly–
Only by the Word is our love made truth,
By Christ, who is the only proof
That I am His heart’s desire.
Ignite in me Your holy fire!

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