I don’t want to be a grown-up
when it means having to grow up,
to do things like bury grandparents,
sort four people’s laundry,
feel pain over a credit score.
I thought I’d feel grown-up
when I was married
when I had a baby
when I had two.
Inching near thirty, I wonder
Do you ever feel grown up?
I wish that I could ask her
if, at 80, laying on her death-bed
did she feel like a grown woman?
Or still like the young auburn girl
who swung do-si-do
married a dashing veteran
raised babies with chicken-on-the-bone.
I hate myself for not asking
for more of the story,
and I hate myself for fearing
that she wouldn’t remember.
—-
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Beautiful, Jessie.
It's hard for me to comment on posts about my beloved mother, but this was truly inspired. Thank you, Jessie.
This is the first time i've read your post…just happened upon it (and glad I did). I cried as I read this post, because it made me think of my grandmother, who at 78 says she still does not feel like a grown up. I am turning 32 this month and still feel, and often act, like I am a very mature 12 year old =)
I often ask my grandmother questions about her life, am so thankful that I have her in my life, even if for short time more.
Thanks!
Sheri